There is darkness in my heart,
A storm of anger that feeds
by soul with judgment.
It comes from the flesh, from a place of darkness.
It’s a feeling that consumes my heart.
And I’m ashamed to ask God for help.
Not because I doubt His love or mercy.
I know He loves me precisely because of my faults.
It’s different when I’m sad, and I fail…
My failure comes from choosing love and finding it hard.
I mean well.
Although I fail,
I surrender myself and ask for love and peace.
And I receive compassion because my struggles and sadness come from a place of love.
But when it comes from this dark place,
how can I ask for help?
I’m ashamed to ask Mary to sit down with me and hug me,
Because I know my suffering comes from my judgment,
from my anger and obsession.
So instead I pray that light and love may replace this darkness growing in me.
Because I cry over my shame and weakness. I cry because I feel angry and because
I’m still judging those I judge; disliking those I don’t like.
But I don’t want this darkness in my heart, so I’ll continue to pray for light.