I want to be Alma and run through the green grass.
I want to be my Avi’s little muñeca again, and fall sleep in his belly.
I want to sit in the dining room’s table doing my homework while my abue knits and watches the telenovela.
I want to be excited when I hear my mom’s high heels making noise as she enters the building.
I want to hear my abue’s complaining about how late the milkman is!
I want to listen to my abue’s stories, I want to bake pound cake with her.
I want happiness for the people I love,
not even great happiness…, just a little bit, a tiny bit.
I just want to believe they can be happy. And I want to see it.
Because I can’t handle the opposite anymore.
It seems like I do, but I can’t…
I used to be stronger, maybe because I was also younger.
But now, I can’t manage it…I want the sadness to go away.
I just want to hug the people I love, and take them with me…take them to a place where we laugh, where we’re happy.
My memories are happy, we knew happiness in the past,
with the little we had,
with no restaurants nor travels,
I want sadness to disappear from the lives of the people I love.
My consolation is that one day, in heaven, we’ll know a happiness that
right now I couldn’t’ even comprehend.