It’s not a complex feeling as I’d like to pretend;
It’s sadness stained with a bit of joy
(how I wish it could be the opposite).
It’s only sadness disguised by the brightness of the blue sky
a knot in my throat which feels good because I’m surrounded by true and honest love.
And I want everything to be over,
I want to close my eyes and run,
escape to a far away place.
Or, if possible, go back in time
to a period when everything was better,
when happiness existed,
or when maybe I was too innocent to understand otherwise.
I can’t eat
or honestly, smile.
And I know it’s selfish,
because I should focus on loving those around me.